Condolence

BismilLahhirRahmannirRaheem

“Taa’zee ‘yat” is an Arabic word, which means to comfort, to console, to advise patience and endurance, and to share one’s grief. Its English substitute “Condolence” is very narrow and limited in meaning. In today’s Khutba, I will throw some light on the Islamic teachings and etiquettes with regards to “Taa’zee’yat”, so that we may make it a point to follow them.

Pain and pleasure, suffering and comfort, sweetness and bitterness, loss and gain, ups and downs are the hard facts of life, and there is no escape from them. All is from Allah (SWT), and subject to His will. While facing hardship, deprivation, pain, grief, or tragedy, people who have faith in Allah (SWT), should not loose heart, give up, and be depressed. They should face such situations with faith and determination, courage and fortitude, and believe that all is from Allah (SWT) and by His supreme will. Allah, being Kind, Gracious and Merciful will save, rescue and provide deliverance. Similarly on occasions of pleasure, success and happiness, one should not take their credit to his own doing or merit, but consider it as Allah (SWT)’s Benevolence, Generosity and Blessing. Allah (SWT) can take back whatever He has given, that is why one should always remain thankful to Him under all conditions and circumstances. That is what our beloved Prophet (SAW) has taught us. On one hand this will keep us connected and attached to Allah (SWT) and on the other, failures will never depress or defeat us. On the contrary we will overcome failures and setbacks and will defeat them.

One Hadith tells us that whatever displeases a Muslim; is a calamity for him, be it small or big. It may be sickness, loss in death, childlessness, or separation from near and dear ones. These and similar situations demand forbearance, and a Momin should not deviate from the limits of Shariah by saying even one single word of grievance or complaint. According to Qur’an and Hadith, on such sad and unfortunate situations, one should always say: Inna LilLahi wa Inna Ilaihi Raa’ji’oon – “We belong to Allah and to Him we shall return” [Al-Baqarah, Aayah 156]. This verse teaches us 3 things.

First is that we are nothing. We are Allah (SWT))’s slaves and subject to His will. Every thing belongs to Allah (SWT). We, our life, children, wife, family, wealth and property, and all that we own belong to the real Master, the All Powerful Lord.

Second is that all these losses, failures, set backs, sufferings, emotional injuries; wounds that others might have inflicted on our psyche are temporary and mortal. Everything is to be left behind when the time comes and we finally leave the world to meet our Master.

Third is that whatever is lost will ultimately be re-gained. Whoever has these 3 things will gain peace and contentment in this world.



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Prophet (SAW) and his companions used to recite Inna LilLahi wa Inna Ilaihi Ra’ji’oon on even minor incidents like a thorn’s prick, loss of a needle, and if the lamp got extinguished. Muslims who utter these words with complete faith and conviction, the Holy Qur’an says about them: “We shall surely test your steadfastness with fear and famine, with loss of property, life and produce. Give good news to those who endure with patience; who when afflicted with calamity, say: “We belong to Allah and to Him we shall return.” Such are the people on whom there are blessings and Mercy from Allah; and they are the ones that are rightly guided.” [Al-Baqarah, verse 155-157].

One tradition tells us that when a Muslim recites Inna Lillahi wa Inna Ilaihi Ra’ji’oon on a loss or a calamity, Allah (SWT) helps and rescues and blesses him with greater favor and better reward in its place. As per Sahi Bukhari, once Prophet (SAW) recited this kalima when his lamp got extinguished. One companion asked, “Ya Rasool Allah, is that a calamity?” Prophet (SAW) replied, “Yes whatever pains a Momin is a calamity.”

As per Tirmizi, Hazrat Abu Musa Ash’ari relates that Allah (SWT) asks the angels on the death of some one’s child: “Have you taken the soul of my servant’s child?” The angels say, “Yes”. Then Allah (SWT) asks again: “Did you take the soul of my servant’s darling child?” Angels say, “Yes”. “What did my servant say?” Asks Allah (SWT) again. The angels say that he glorified Your name and said: “Inna Lillahi wa Inna Ilaihi Ra’ji’oon.” Allah (SWT) commands that a house for such of my servants be built in Paradise and be named as “Bait-ul-Hamd” – the house of thanks.

As per tradition quoted in Musnad Ahmad, when a Muslim man and women had experienced a calamity even in the remote past, and if he or she recalls it and recites Inna Lillahi wa Inna Ilaihi Ra’ji’oon, Allah (SWT) favors with His reward then and there in spite of the lapse of time.

If someone experienced, or observed someone’s calamity, heard about someone’s death, went to see or wrote a letter to comfort someone, under all circumstances, Prophet (SAW)’s Sunnah confirms the use of Inna Lillahi wa Inna Ilaihi Ra’ji’oon.

As quoted by Nisaa’ee, Hazrat Qurrah bin Ayas (RA) says that his companions loved to sit with Prophet (SAW) whenever they found an opportunity. Among such people was a companion, whose child accompanied him at times. Prophet (SAW) used to have the child sit in front, if he was on Prophet (SAW)’s back. The child died, and his grief-stricken father was not seen in Prophet’s audience for some time. Prophet (SAW) noticed his absence and inquired about him. Companions told submitted to him that overtaken by the grief on the loss of his son must perhaps have been the reason of his absence. Learning this Prophet (SAW) went to see him, asked about the child and was told of his death. Prophet (SAW) comforted and asked the companion: “What would you like? Do you like him to be alive, or do you like him to open the door of Paradise for you and welcome you on your arrival?” I will continue on this topic Insha Allah next week.